Mistakes Are Opportunities
By: Sarah Yazback
Assalamu Alaikum,
I wanted to share an inspiring story that has dramatically changed the way many parents and teachers that I work with view the mistakes that children make…
I recently heard a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother which occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator, when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, “Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?” Indeed, he did. After a few minutes his mother said, “You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up, and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. What do you prefer? He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, “You know what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it.” The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew that he didn’t need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. They are simply that – just experiments to see what happens. Even if the experiment “doesn’t work,” we usually learn something valuable from it.
Wouldn’t it be great if all parents would respond the same way Robert’s mother responded to him? After all, why do we have that phrase, “Don’t cry over a little spilt milk.” It truly is no big deal. We need to remember that we’re raising capable, confident kids, not shiny linoleum floors.
Jack Canfield
Sarah Yazback, MS Educational Psychology. Sarah is presently working on her PhD in Educational Psychology. She is a counselor and founder of the non-profit organization, MANARA Foundation which was created to address the psycho-educational needs in Muslim communities and work toward the unification of Muslims globally. Through the Manara Foundation, she seeks to explore the overlap between the psychological, physical, and spiritual realms from an Islamic perspective. Her focus is in all spheres including the individual, marriage, family, and community. Mrs. Sarah and her organization offer consultation, training, writing, and speaking in the domain of Islamic Psychology.